Tuesday, December 8, 2009

zoloft down the drain

Is something pushing at the floodgates?
words were backed up where they were forgotten,
left to stack and intermingle until they became tongue twisters…
only numbed feeling
but the novocaine has started to dwindle down

leaving exposed nerves
like fallen electrical wires
looking for a fight, or something to light on fire!

it could make a girl fidget…

I just wanted to feel normal again
my kind of normal,
lost in my own thoughts normal,
bad dreams, skewed perspective,
dark and twisty down a rabbit hole normal…

Foregoing complacency,
I accept that feeling in the pit of my stomach
that proves I am still alive
whispering to me, welcome home

the first words in a while

at one time it was mysterious
details were like found notes
an overheard conversation
like spying on you from invisible places
only estimations of facts
creative links from one story to another
letting the inside seep to the outside
but only in glimpses
flashbulbs of clarity
exhales of honesty
returning to darkness where secrets live safely
someone turned a light on
initially I cowered
you hid, pretended you could not see me
frantically searching for unflattering angles
pulling and readjusting myself over myself
and back again to where all our thoughts lay exposed
allowing the image to fade into real time
cracks began to show
without hidden meanings
without messages to decode
only a beautiful reality of vulnerability
between two hearts
bruised once, healing nicely
bruised twice, careful but captivating
at one time it was mysterious
organically growing into
something like holding heartbeats