Tuesday, June 29, 2010

lost heart

I have sent out a search party
for this heart lost once living within
rib cage protection
last seen in a parking lot
years ago
stolen away through my breath
all evidence washed clean
or perhaps sunken into the black tar asphalt
I have sent out a scavenger hunt
for this heart lost once living amongst
happier times
last seen on a plane travelling somewhere
to the east coast
stolen away through clammy hands
leaving skin cells on the knee of my jeans
everything is raw within me
kept captive
within the back of a messy car
lost somewhere in the trunk
amongst piles of things
lost treasures
books, a forgotten sweatshirt
it could be there
under something
I have sent out an APB
for this heart once living within
the daylight open to the sunshine
now nowhere to be found
arrested somewhere
checking hospitals, and mortuaries
perhaps it is dead on the side of the road
somewhere along
the central coast of California
or maybe just lost
in an unknown place
boiling under the san fernando valley sun
hitchhiking its way back to me
pick up truck riding
broken down and out and dirty
trying to get home

The Boy Prince with the Keyhole Chest and the Girl with the Skeleton Key Vol. IV

The Boy Prince with the Keyhole chest sat
and sat
and sat
and sat
he pounded upon his chest
hard with his fist
listening to the echoes dance against
steel ribcage walls
wondered if there was even a heart left at all
if it had dried up and crumbled to dust
perhaps it had melted under the sun
perhaps it shattered and melded itself
to the metal inside
never to be seen from or heard from again
He thought of the pieces he’d given away
He wished he could take them back
one by one
sew them together with yarn or some string
sew them together to not come undone
sew them together as he was when he was young
the Boy Prince with the Keyhole Chest
felt the anger start to rumble in his belly
start to bubble
till it boiled
and there sitting on that lawn
he let out a wail that shook the ground below
it bounced off the clouds
and then the ground just below
it shook the flowers on their stems
it shook the grass blades
it shook the air they were breathing
across streets far and wide
all the way to the place Violetta resides

Friday, June 25, 2010


words are lost glimpses of something i never thought i would see
something teasing and easing me into the gray area
surviving comfortably between black and white
letting go of self imposed myths
that have been shackling me
now broken by aggressive flattery
sheilding eyes from some type of
blinding happiness washing over me
waiting for a quiet moment for words to envelop like arms
hearing something like a buddhist chant
soft flowing breaths with ins and outs that move me
swaying and slowly back to sleep like a feverish child
within dreamstate eyes and whispered kisses atop eyelids
words are lost glimpses of something i never thought i would see
paving the way to leave a trail up a mountain guiding me
thrown caution to the wayward winds
marching now haphazardly

a conversation with los angeles

i awoke wanting to spill my insides onto the page
share the tiniest of twists within my minds eye with you
i awoke wanting to tattoo my soul onto my fingertips
to reach out and give away the sparkles from my eyes
so you could melt a little bit too
into the ground i am standing upon
i awoke wanting to write a love song to los angeles
to share our special moments with you, all our secrets
I awoke wanting to speed down mulholland's feminine curves
daring you to follow closely as not to lose me in the crowd
so you could see this place through my eyes
spend a moment inside my mind
i awoke with my heart in my hand beating in time with the traffic
breathing the smog in like the cologne of a lover
thanking this city for bringing me to this place.

Monday, June 21, 2010


today i awoke with a thought in my head
dangerously close to optimism
i poured a half full glass of water between my lips
and said hello to the people who passed by
today i didnt look at the clock quite so much
nor did find myself sorting and resorting the same papers
again and again
today i awoke with a thought in my head
dangerously close to happiness
dont want to speak too soon
find myself crashing down tomorrow
so for now i will stop,
entertain the notion that sometimes good things occur
and new lives can occur at any time.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


it hit me recently
the pages ripped from my calendar
something torn from me
like someone took a scissor
deep inside my heart to cut a major artery
i cant bleed out fast enough
thats when it stops hurting, right
::or so i have been told::
repeatedly by the confidantes
they seem to know whats best for me
::or so i have been told::
it hit me recently
still surprises me
that the clock just keeps on going round
some tick tocking sounds like mocking
sounds like stalking
thought it would have stopped by now
its best to put my hands over my eyes
put fingers in my ears
::or so i've been told::
but i can still feel the presence
of a phantom limb
of a phantom hand
just forget whats eating me
until there is nothing left of it
but tear stains
and heart sprains
thats what the onlookers know to be true
::or so i've been told::

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Boy Prince with the keyhole chest and the girl with the skeleton key vol. III

dear readers we know
these two must cross paths
inevitability locked its cross hairs
on their heartstrings
shooting arrows with cupids crossbow
dialed up a variety of near misses
brief sightings
quick glances
walking up stairs while another walks down
sitting at the same tables
in the same restaurants
just hours apart
avoiding new loves flying dart
his nose buried in books
her eyes peeled down at the ground
shrugging excuse me's
while travelling upon asphalt pathways
ignoring all the passerbys
jingling keys walking by
creaking rusted heart cage sighs
The Boy Prince with the keyhole chest
felt a rumbling in the universe
felt a whisper on the wind
he did a most impossible thing
he closed his book,
sat upon the green grass
acknowledging it made his skin itch
and finally looked up.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

no ideas

there is a part of me that wont give
perhaps unanswered motivations are clawing up my skeleton and into that little twitching spot in my mind
surrounding me are the same broken hearts that have always been
i wonder if i find solace in shared hurt feelings
maybe if i take an advil twice a day, every day,
that little tap tap tap will go away
stop knocking on my windows with scratch branches beckoning me to come out and play awhile in oncoming traffic
there is a part of me that locked up tight
threw away the key and swallowed the combination
burned the roadmap and sat watching and waiting for the vultures to circle.
sitting cross legged under a hot sun

neverending work daydreams

i'd like to get away a while
climb barefoot on volcanic cliffs
where lagoons meet lava flows
where mermaids mix cocktails
singing siren songs
along beachfront passages
i'd like to get away a while
watch flowers growing tropical
where quiet is uninterrupted
where i can nap in sunshine
lazy sand castles
and tree house adventures
i'd like to get away a while
without a word to anyone
where clouds fingerprint sunsets
where footprints wash away

Sunday, June 13, 2010


she went to sleep and dreamed of beautiful things
tiptoed up staircases of poetic words
and down the smooth slides of the silver tongued
she danced barefoot atop damp grass
but did not notice the cold
she rode on ships of with swarthy pirates
to deserted islands where coconuts dropped from skyscrapers
she smiled like cheshire cats
sipped wine from the the petals of lavender roses
she dreamt of standing under very tall trees
and finding comfort in the shade
she pretended she was magical for this single moment
allowed herself to remain in this enchanted place
just long enough to believe in it
she held her eyes tight so not to wake up

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Boy Prince with the keyhole chest and the girl with the skeleton key vol. II

With storybook eyes She
Enters the scene
Quick with the breeze
Whistling softly
Upon the grass she would lay
Violetta was strange
in only one way
when she could do just what she pleased
she spent all day
Collecting lost keys
upon her waist there was a ring
Where all the keys were dangling
Silver, iron, bronze and gold
Different styles, new and old
Violetta kept collecting
Making her seem quite perplexing
The neighbors watched and ridiculed
They thought she should be in school
They wondered why she needed keys
rather than dolls, books, or girly things
she didn’t care
She blocked them out
kept adding keys
she had no doubts
that she would need these keys indeed
to unlock a most stubborn lock

The boy prince with the keyhole chest, and the girl with the skeleton key vol. I

the boy prince with the keyhole chest sat alone
upon a pile of comics he used as a throne
reading them all one page at a time
he lived in his own world of heroes and crime
for hours a day he scratched at his lock
his nails all worn down
he left bloody fingerprints upon his crown
his heart had been closed and locked tight away
no matter how hard he tried
cant make happiness stay
he tried prying it open one day with a stick
leaving scratches and scrapes on the metal around it
he tried bashing it open one day with a rock
leaving large dents behind he continued to pound
his only choice now was give up, settle down
he sat back on his throne and he tilted his crown
he never would feel that thump thumping of love
he never would feel the soft fluttering of doves
within his hollow chest
like the tin man once was
with a heart locked away
the boy prince and his cage
a prison unto himself
who could not find a smile despite all his wealth
he crossed his arms then and he started to frown
he cried only once
a single tear fell
that keyhole chest rusted
as it splashed to to the ground