honesty

i like honesty
brutal unabashed honesty
words that scream sincerity
that cut inside and burrow like a tick in your heart
words that hurt you to say
words that sting as they hit you with their transparency
i relish in that moment of awkwardness
when someone has just become so beautifully vulnerable
you want to shatter the moment with a scream
hand sweating seconds
when another has completely revealed their guts to you
spilled sloppily across the floor
i love the worst part of a person
the selfishness, the childish
the parts of us that breathe humanity
the flaws
that paint them in their truest
most beautiful light

structural integrity

strengthening myself from inside out
straightening the corners
ironing out some wrinkles
cleaning the windows so i can see clearly for once
upkeep seems to be the problem
maintenance avoids major repairs
i tend to let things go
using duct tape to hold it together
super glue my sanity
strengthening myself from the inside out
making sure all walls are sound.

searching inside for butterflies
trapped within a net
wings like heartbeats
fluttering against my insides
to replace that sinking feeling
as if to plug the hole in this leaking boat

ponder

wonder what it is like to come easy
wake up on sunday
with sun peaking through windows
arm haphhazardly slung over another
without any rush to run out the door
newspaper reading
email sending on laptops from outdoor patios
of your own home

wonder what it is like to come easy
a touch upon your cheek
kisses that dont carry with them
the sour taste of expectations
hopes unlocked
voiced freely upon your lovers ear
letters carved into a tree
by smiling eyes

the middle

looking for this handholding time
a moment spent where you can see a forever
erupting out of nowhere you've ever been
handed a gilded invitation
calligraphy and swirls of ink
some sticky sweet sentiment
that leaves you feeling all weak in the knees
looking for this whisper time
afraid to say the words that linger
easier to look away with some shy smile
thoughts kept on folded paper
hidden within pockets
kept close to my heart
looking for something more than the middle

with me

words spill now
the dam built of smiles and reassuring glances
has found itself cracked
lack of repurcussions has removed the gag from my mouth
filled my pen with ink again
pictures in my head again
pictures waiting to travel to paper
stories that have not been written
rhymes that have not been spoken
words spill now
breathing myself back into me
not afraid of being who i am , when i am the only person in the room
setting up a welcome mat
dusting off my well worn boots
having a seat inside my own mind and resting a while

inspired by a drawing i made

she has given out too many hearts
pockets are empty
riding off into the moonlight
inside her red umbrella
perhaps to collect the stars this time
and hang them above her sleeping place
stars dont stain as much
making wishes when they fall
she creates stories in the clouds
remembering things she has heard before
things that helped when she used to be scared
she has given out too many hearts
carrying an empty satchel of hopes
she blows wishes into the sail
to propel forward
like a tiny sea captain
thinking she'll write her own fairy tale
or bedtime story
she has given out too many hearts
mending the broken pieces into one to keep
just for herself