fading

i can hardly
remember her
that scared scarred girl
walking on eggshells
as not to awaken the
beast inside him
barely make out
her silhouette in the room
as if i had erased those years
from a memory card
torn out pages from journals
torn photos that remind me
there was a time
when i was living
within her body
calculating
and then recalculating
the plausible exit strategies
causing the least amount
of collateral damage
i can barely recall
the tone that would change
like a light switch
turning on
turning off
turning his face to that
distinct shade of
angry red
turning wrists purple
and leaving hand prints
where hands squeezed so
tightly
afraid i'd squeeze my way
through a rabbit hole and escape
i can hardly make out
the faded memories until
they sneak out in a story
seep to the surface
slowly make their way to
a life they cannot survive in
hand chosen and
created by
beautiful things that
illuminate dark thoughts
like night lights that
never burn out
to keep away the
monsters lurking
in closets
locked away
within the
subconscious