Monday, October 18, 2010

compromised thoughts

compromising the fabrication of reality
I take what I have
bend it to be what I think I want
pretending it is what I need
giving it a shiny paint job
sweeping unmentionables under the rug
to forego the conclusion
that my hypothesis has always been incorrect
sought out supplementary understanding
shared moments elsewhere
emotional embraces from another
late night conversations
left me feeling a little dirty like having secrets
little white lies when I feel I cannot tell my truths
not ever to you
leaving me with a metallic taste
like bad medicine
force feeding yes’s
crushed and added to food to avoid the bitter taste
disappointed in my inability to look beyond the immediate
holding onto nostalgia
fiercely protective and lashing out
with clenched fists when asked to explain myself
with understanding sought out
where things aren’t so hard
makes me examine the details
more closely
wondering how things could be different
if the hands that held me
belonged there

4 comments:

H.F. said...

This is haunting, and beautiful, and just what I needed to hear today.

T. Lettieri said...

thank you so much H.F.!!!

seth kelley elkins said...

this has a sense of raw truth that is both refreshing and forceful. had to read it twice just to take it all in.

T. Lettieri said...

Thank you so much "duct tape and coffin nails" i really appreciate that feedback. i wrote it feeling a little raw in the nerve endings and i think that came across.