cutting

it hit me recently
the pages ripped from my calendar
something torn from me
like someone took a scissor
deep inside my heart to cut a major artery
i cant bleed out fast enough
thats when it stops hurting, right
::or so i have been told::
repeatedly by the confidantes
they seem to know whats best for me
::or so i have been told::
it hit me recently
still surprises me
that the clock just keeps on going round
some tick tocking sounds like mocking
sounds like stalking
thought it would have stopped by now
its best to put my hands over my eyes
put fingers in my ears
::or so i've been told::
but i can still feel the presence
of a phantom limb
of a phantom hand
just forget whats eating me
until there is nothing left of it
but tear stains
and heart sprains
thats what the onlookers know to be true
::or so i've been told::